Because He Died
by Devlyne
Summary: Post S02/E09. Pam contemplates what it means to change.  Part 2 of 3.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Truly, I did not intend this to become a series, but, here it is. I still protest Godric's death, vehemently. Again, tiny changes. We've no idea if Godric met Pam, though it's a fair assumption they met. We have no idea how they felt about each other. First part can be found in my profile, titled Because He Cried.

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

**Because He Died**

Pam did not like change.

Despite that she had nothing to look forward to except an eternity of an ever constant changing world, Pam was unwilling to accept change easily. Fashion was one thing, of course, so much easier to deal with than people; especially humans. The colors might change, the cuts might change, but the way she felt in an exceptional pair of heels never changed. She had never been an exceptional beauty in life and death had only given her the ethereal sort of beauty that one connects to vampires and the supernatural in general. Not to say that she wasn't a beautiful woman, made more so by her very fine taste in clothes, but she had never been exceptionally so.

Godric had always made her feel beautiful. He had never leered at her the way others had. And despite her rambunctious insubordination towards Eric and on occasion, himself, he had always had a smile and kind word for her. For this reason, and this alone, she had included him in shopping trips. A shirt, that Godric might admire, while she picked up a new suit coat for Eric and that Brighton necklace for herself. Those sandals looked terribly comfortable for him, he would certainly appreciate a pair, and the woman showing them to her didn't look half bad a gift either. This, like so many other things, had become routine to her.

Pam did not take kindly to changes in her routine.

It was with an odd sort of detachment that she had taken the news of Godric's departure. Eric had stood still, silent, his fists clenching and unclenching a few moments as he gazed down into her eyes. "Godric is gone." Then he had simply turned from her, suitcase rolled along behind him into the club, the sound of his office door slamming hard enough to rattle the walls. _Gone._ The way one might say that he had taken a vacation. _Oh yes, he stepped out into the Sun...don't worry, he'll return momentarily._ A wave of a phantom hand in her mind. _Gone._

Later, when the bar was again closed for the day, when Pam had a chance to settle quietly into her own day-proofed home, it hit. _Godric is gone. _Eric's anguish, his despair, had been difficult to ignore when Godric had been simply lost, but now, they were overwhelming. A tug brought her walk-in closet open, rummaging in the very back for the few bags she had stashed there. A sweater laid out across her bed, a pair of comfortable shoes, a ring. She stepped back, gazing down at these things, arms folded across her midsection. Godric would have liked the ring, the smoothness of the metal and how warm it would be against his cool flesh. The sweater just the right sort of color to match his pallor without washing out his already pale complexion. The shoes would have been well used, well worn, as every pair she had given him had been.

Now they had no home to go to.

Pam sat down hard on the bed in the room, elbows resting on her knees as forehead rested in the palm of her hand. Eric had changed, she could feel it; anguish, despair, loss. Love. Her eyes closed tightly, warding off the burning that threatened them, the blood which would spill and ruin her makeup. That would not do. _Thank you, Pam. I will treasure them. _An image flashed through her brain, Godric's small smile. Rage built within, despair, loneliness, until she could not separate her feelings from Eric's. The sweater torn, ripped in her hands as she acted, at last. Anger, that he should leave Eric behind, leave her behind. The ring tossed, the dull echo of it hitting the far wall, bouncing away to be lost in the plush carpet. Fear, that Eric would follow. Shoes hitting the wall, the mirror shattering as one veered too close. Grief, that now they belonged to no one.

Pam did not like change. She did not like the churning sensation it left in its wake. She did not like the way it felt to have to start anew. But she would; They had to.

Because he died.


	2. Author's Note

A/N: Posted the final followup to _Because He Cried_. It is called _Because He Lied. _Originally the piece was intended to be Bill and Sookie, but for some reason, Eric clung to my brain so it ended up being Eric's view of Bill in a way. The link can be found in my profile. Thank you so much for reading.

- BA


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